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Entries in Raid: Redemption/The [2012] (1)

Tuesday
Apr032012

The Raid: Redemption (2012)

Hardly Die Hard

Oh, my precious Internet elves! How I adore thee! You bring me the best presents on days when I need them most. Case in point: this super-secret cover letter from a Sony Pictures Classics media packet that has some very interesting things to say about The Raid: Redemption. Get your eyeballs on it now, kids, 'cause this one probably won't be up for very long! Thanks to reader D'arby-Q for the tip:

Abner Hawley

Senior VP, Marketing Synergy

Sony Pictures Classics

4528 W. Palomeida Boulevard

Suite A6b

Los Angeles, CA 90045-1862

 

Abs of Steel:

I thoroughly enjoyed meeting you at the Ninja Turtles greenlight luncheon. Before the meeting, many on my team felt Bay had gone one step too far by casting Taylor Swift as Donatello (though Marty Manley in Sales says he was done when Ice Cube got tapped to play "Adam O'Neal"). But I think I speak for everyone when I say that your Turtles-branded hoodies idea--not to mention the amazing Skittles promotion--blew the room away.

I don't know how your team does it, man, but I swear the moment I got back in my car, the news had a segment on both those things! You guys are gonna be huge this year.

Which is why I'm writing. I've got something guaranteed to make you huge-er. It's this incredible new movie from this English guy Gareth Evans, called The Raid: Redemption. I don't know where it's set (I think Japan or Chinatown or something), but it's an hour and 40 mins of nonstop crazy action that is exactly what the 18-24s have been craving: lots of bone-cracking violence, heads bashed into concrete, and lots of new martial arts work that I can't remember the name of. For shorthand, I'll call it Karate.

You may think, this is just an Asian Die Hard, but Evans takes all the problems of Die Hard and chucks them out a thirty-story window. Namely, he doesn't bother with interesting villains or plot twists (unless you're eight years old, and that's Andy's department, if I remember right). Instead, he makes the film strictly about a team of cops going into a slum to take out a drug lord and the crazy maniacs they have to kill to get to him.

Don't worry: It's not like a video game, either. That implies levels of increasing difficulty for the characters and surprises/talents for the audience to discover along the way. The bad guys in The Raid are almost all sweaty Chinese dudes in wife-beaters and track pants who somehow all know karate and have no problem taking out highly trained, armored SWAT cops--who also know Karate. This is literally over 90 mins of "Huuyyyyyy-aaaa" and "Ooooiiii-cha!", with buckets of sweat, gallons of CG blood, and zero--I mean ZERO--reason to care.

If you're still not convinced, would it help if I mention this passed the Bernie Test? No shit. Engelstein sat through the entire movie stone-faced but very fidgety. After it was over, I asked him what he thought, and he said he wanted to leave after ten minutes. Remember, this is a guy who loved Punisher: War Zone--and even he said The Raid was too empty and dull!

Normally, that'd be considered an anti-endorsement, but I hear you and the boys are working really hard to find the perfect crossover product that can appeal to the 18-24s as well as that weird, but all-too-lucrative micro-market of 40-43 males. Let me tell you, we made the Modesto screening the perfect Pete Tree dish and the results were amazing:

We played the trailer for the new Wes Anderson movie beforehand, and the floor literally shook with mid-20s hipsters stomping their feet and giggling when Bill Murray announces--dryly and shirtless of course--that he's going to go outside and chop down a tree. We chose the Anderson trailer because, classically, the 40-43s give his movies perfect "10's" in the "High-falutin' Faggotry" category (sorry, we've been trying to get that label changed for the better part of a decade). But not an hour later, everyone in the auditorium was clapping, hooting, and high-fiving like they were at a sporting event.

I'm telling you, guy, The Raid: Redemption brings the previously conflicting cliques of ironically-trimmed-beards-and-corduroy snobs and post-9/11 impotent white rage together in a way you've never seen. This movie will be played in the background of video game tournaments, basement poker games, and as the main feature of funny-on-purpose-but-not-really movie nights for decades to come.

This isn't just turn-off-your-brain entertainment; it's a leave-your-brain-in-the-car-and-have-your-bored-girlfriend-drag-your-body-to-the-seat-where-she'll-occasionally-prop-up-your-hand-in-a-caveman-style-fist-pump extravaganza.

You'll notice I haven't spent much time talking about the movie itself, and that's 'cause I covered everything you need to know in the last sentence of paragraph 4. Tell me that isn't what you guys are looking for! Though the movie has nothing, it has everything: hatred of cops, glorification of drug dealers and vicious killers, and characters whose entire backstory is implied by whether or not they have a baby on the way and which nostril they most rely on to snarl menacingly. In Bernie's words, "Yeah, I might've appreciated the fight choreography and editing had the lack of a story not rendered me unconscious."

Ha! Ivy Leaguers, right?

Anyways, I've had my admin put together this media packet. It's got the usual stills, interviews (which you can skip 'cause they're all sub-titled except for the director), and a boat-load of ideas from our guys regarding possible product venues: video games, of course; but also a tie-in with Raid bug spray (at one point, the lead bad guy calls the cops "cockroaches", and I got a full-on synergy boner--swear to Christ.)

Pay special attention to the Nerf machete PowerPoint: we could finally crack the elusive "arterial spray" market--maybe package them with those silly-string-filled Krazy Kevlar vests from the failed Miami Vice remake campaign (sorry if that's still a sore point).

That's all for now. I think this is gonna be the hugeness for both of us. I've already got our paid 'net nerds hyping the shit out of this thing, calling it the best action movie in decades. I think another month or so of that and it might really become true!

Oh, and thanks again for the idea about the George Zimmerman first-person-shooter-style biopic. Sounds exciting. And as soon as I figure out who that is, I'll get back to you.

In the meantime, it's all about The Raid, baby!

Take care.

Regards,

 

Michael Scrumm

Senior VP, Marketing Synergy

Plan K Brand Strategies

4528 W. Palomeida Boulevard

Suite A6a

Los Angeles, CA 90045-1862